While I was on leave last week, we had some more work done to the ‘sun-room’ at the back of our house after it was demolished and rebuilt last summer. While I no longer needed to worry about it collapsing during every storm, we couldn’t get any of the inside work done so we ended up with bare brick walls and broken tiled floor. Last week’s work has added a new floor, plastered the walls and (most importantly) a wall and a door to give the (previously open) loo its own room. It’s not quite finished yet, but it is well on its way now and we can do lots of the remaining jobs ourselves.
While it would have been lovely to get all the work done at once, the reality is that we simply didn’t have the resources to do so. It’s not only a financial investment that had to be planned for, but also an emotional and energetic one. Just having other people in my house (however lovely they are) is particularly draining for me, if you then add in the associated noise and mess, my battery can quickly drain. Having a quiet space to be is an important part of how I recharge myself and if I don’t have it, I need to work extra hard to keep my resilience levels up by drawing on other coping strategies. The space in between allows me to build up my resources again before moving onto the next challenge.
In some ways therapy can follow a similar pattern, each time I dip back in I feel like I am returning to the site of the previous work. This might mean that I have new information and need to revisit a certain area, or it might be a completely new stage. These days I tend to go back when I come across areas that I am either not sure how to tackle or I know I will need some help with. Of course, in doing these specific pieces of work we sometimes uncover something new (or old) that need some attention but, unless it is structural, I can decide if I have the resources to do the work then and there, or if it is something to bear in mind for the future – like the work on the loft we booked in for the end of the year.
What builds your resources and how do you choose to invest them?
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